The day after my graduation party, I had opened up my cards, leaving the envelopes in one pile and methodically jotting down who gave what, etc. Leaving the envelopes on the floor, I largely forgot about them until my dad reminded me I needed to do some tidying up.
Frustrated by some of the day's events, I was feeling a little down, and I looked at this pile of envelopes, some 20-30, and was touched. When things get hectic and terms become gray, I forget about all the people who really do care, and on Tuesday night, I was reminded. I still can't believe the number of people who came (around 150 . . . we think), and I have been dually flattered and humbled by the outpouring of love.
Thank you to everyone. You make my life.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Affirmation Phrase
I'm flipping through my self-meditation book, reading a few of the koans (questions with no true "logical" response meant to disprove logical reasoning, more or less) and such, and I happen to notice an affirmation on one of the pages.
"Affirmation: I accept the world just as it is."
What the hell?
To accept the world just as it is is to give up on humanity. Our world faces tremendous amounts of poverty and inhumanity. People are dying as I type because they believe in God, because they question tyrannical governments, because they see something better for themselves. So many people are on the breaking point -- their concerns are so much more imminent than my selfish desires, and to accept the world for what is it is is to condone those who have forced a way of life upon them.
What are we doing?
Are we really approving of ignorance? Is that what we aspire to, to accept what we feel cannot be changed?
Granted, some things can't be changed. I cannot, for example, move the moon a little closer to Earth, or telepathically tell a goat that it needs to produce more milk. No can do.
But to consciously give up on change . . . I cann't accept that. I just can't.
What are we doing?
"Affirmation: I accept the world just as it is."
What the hell?
To accept the world just as it is is to give up on humanity. Our world faces tremendous amounts of poverty and inhumanity. People are dying as I type because they believe in God, because they question tyrannical governments, because they see something better for themselves. So many people are on the breaking point -- their concerns are so much more imminent than my selfish desires, and to accept the world for what is it is is to condone those who have forced a way of life upon them.
What are we doing?
Are we really approving of ignorance? Is that what we aspire to, to accept what we feel cannot be changed?
Granted, some things can't be changed. I cannot, for example, move the moon a little closer to Earth, or telepathically tell a goat that it needs to produce more milk. No can do.
But to consciously give up on change . . . I cann't accept that. I just can't.
What are we doing?
Positive Karma
Shortly after 3 PM today, I found myself on 17th headed west (bad idea) as I was driving a friend home, and of course, it was a zoo, but that's typical. The traffic was stop-and-go, and we were just chatting while listening to the radio.
All of a sudden, I heard a loud CRUNCH.
"Did we just get hit?" I asked my bud as I parked the vehicle I was driving so I could get a better idea of what had just happened. The SUV behind us had been rearended by a small car and the resulting scene was two drivers being incredibly rude to each other while my buddy tried to mitigate as I dialed 911 to explain the situation.
Anyways, the point of this story is that I felt really good about myself when the whole ordeal was done. I'd stepped out of a normal person's comfort zone to help some others when they needed it in a crisis, and . . . like I said, I felt good about myself.
All of a sudden, I heard a loud CRUNCH.
"Did we just get hit?" I asked my bud as I parked the vehicle I was driving so I could get a better idea of what had just happened. The SUV behind us had been rearended by a small car and the resulting scene was two drivers being incredibly rude to each other while my buddy tried to mitigate as I dialed 911 to explain the situation.
Anyways, the point of this story is that I felt really good about myself when the whole ordeal was done. I'd stepped out of a normal person's comfort zone to help some others when they needed it in a crisis, and . . . like I said, I felt good about myself.
Amelie Soundtrack
I absolutely adore the Amelie soundtrack. Virtually all of the tracks fall under the realm of instrumental music, but they're more ambient than anything. Most, moreover, could be the background music to optimistic rising plot action -- making it henceforth and ipsofacto great music for any activity you take on.
This has been a lame caffeinated rant, but I hope you get the drift.
This has been a lame caffeinated rant, but I hope you get the drift.
Work
During the past week, I've had discussions with both my sister and a close friend of mine regarding whether women ought to stay home with their children or continue to work. Both concurred that women should stay home until their children are 10-12 and able to watch themselves, but to my surprise, I found that I had a different take on the issue -- I hate to say it, but my kids, whomever they wind up being, will probably have things like daycare because I really want to work.
I really, really want to work.
At this point, I practically resent college. I am ready to be out in the world, making my impact. I am at odds with the idea that college hinders me from doing this, internships aside, for the next few years and that grad school will have the same effect.
Not that I've ever contemplated not going to college. College is my means of achieving an end. I understand that more than anything else, but I'm aching to be doing something greater, something larger, something more grandioese.
My eventual goal is to work for some organization like the Department of State, the UN, or WorldBank, but I want to RIGHT NOW.
Ugh. Patience is not one of my virtues.
I really, really want to work.
At this point, I practically resent college. I am ready to be out in the world, making my impact. I am at odds with the idea that college hinders me from doing this, internships aside, for the next few years and that grad school will have the same effect.
Not that I've ever contemplated not going to college. College is my means of achieving an end. I understand that more than anything else, but I'm aching to be doing something greater, something larger, something more grandioese.
My eventual goal is to work for some organization like the Department of State, the UN, or WorldBank, but I want to RIGHT NOW.
Ugh. Patience is not one of my virtues.
Self-Meditation Book Quote
"If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track, which has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living." -- Joseph Campbell
This comes from a self-meditation book I received for graduation. Truer words have never been spoken, though.
This comes from a self-meditation book I received for graduation. Truer words have never been spoken, though.
Starting Fresh
Everything in my life feels like it's starting over. High school's just ended for me, so that's done, and summer (and college inevitably) will be starting soon, and many friendships that I'd let stale are reviving themselves, so it seems as if life's definitely going through a spring period.
But I'm excited. I've needed a change for awhile, and this is most certainly a welcome one.
Moreover, I've decided that a new blog is also in order because it turns out the latter one had more readers than I realized. In the blog, I'd been quite open about a lot of things that I'd been going through, and while I'd have explained anything to anyone who asked me about it, or almost anyone, this is easier than trying to edit that one.
If you've got any further questions regarding that decision, (i.e. Why I didn't delete it?), ask me in person or via comment.
But I'm excited. I've needed a change for awhile, and this is most certainly a welcome one.
Moreover, I've decided that a new blog is also in order because it turns out the latter one had more readers than I realized. In the blog, I'd been quite open about a lot of things that I'd been going through, and while I'd have explained anything to anyone who asked me about it, or almost anyone, this is easier than trying to edit that one.
If you've got any further questions regarding that decision, (i.e. Why I didn't delete it?), ask me in person or via comment.
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